Seduced by similes

This post is in continuation to the thought processes started by Gautam's post. This is based on my observations of the corporate world, especially some of 'non-numerical' part of it.

 Many people (and organizations) tend to look at the corporate world and the markets they operate as a war-zone or a sports arena. Some very interesting parallels make both these fields a seductive analogy. Stiff competition, for one. Strategy (or at least what is assumed to be strategy, in all three fields-business, sports and war) for another. From the brash, 'Art of War' spouting executive, to the Change-is-only-constant-self-proclaimed-guru, other fields are routinely looked upon for inspiration and emulation. As I shall try to show, these analogies are fraught with pitfalls.

1. War:

Peter Drucker observed that when the first joint stock companies were starting up, they did not have too many organizations to look up to. They chose the most inspiring and complex organization of the times, the military. Wartime tools and techniques were found to be very useful for business, right from Linear Programming Techniques, Assessment Center methodologies, to products like microwave ovens. Given this history, it is very easy to get inspired by war and see markets as arenas.  However, here are the differences which make the analogy a little shaky:

  • War is typically between two major actors. In business, there are multiple (and sometimes unlikely) competitors, multiple 'theatres' of operation, multiple products. So, for example, the insurance industry in India may face direct competition from the BPO industry, as far as talent in the lower levels of management are concerned.
  • The aim of war is to vanquish the opponent. Today's businesses are too complex to aim for that. Coke, for example, can't really hope to vanquish Pepsi. Competitors have to collaborate to capture one market and compete on other fronts, something which does not happen too often in wartime scenarios.
  • The intent of business and war are inherently different. Businesses focus on growth as measured by profits or other contribution to society. War on the other hand, is focused on territorial expansion or access to resources, which are, quite often, ends in themselves. 

2. Sports:

We all like being sports-persons; and what better way to look at what we do everyday than as sports? We seem to do it all: 'training' to succeed, facing competition head-on, both internally and externally, getting 'coached' by seniors for bettering performance, celebrating our successes by doling out trophies…so how is it not sports? Well, here's why:

  • The impact of decisions taken in business, especially at middle to senior levels, is seen over a much larger period of time, and managers tend to look at many more factors before taking decisions. Roger Federer, for example, gets immediate feedback about a majority of his decisions, while a branch manager at an insurance company knows the impact of her marketing scheme only at the end of, say, two months. Only at the end of those two months will she know the correctness of her understanding of the market, on which her scheme was based. 
  • Similar to war above, competition in business is different from that in sports. The German football team need not worry about the Dutch hockey team competing against them, but ITC may have to worry about Khadi Gram Udyog Commission when it comes to procurement. (as an arbit example)

There's another interesting trend nowadays, looking at mythology to derive business truths. Devdutt Pattanaik, who is the 'Chief Belief Officer' at Future Group, exemplifies this trend. I am all for getting inspired by mythology, but again, I fear that people may carry it too far, getting seduced by similarities and failing to appreciate important differences between mythological situations and present-day realities. For example, while Mahabharata (my favourite mythology) had very complex situations, they were set in a time where rights and duties were very clearly, even rigidly defined and tacitly understood by that society. Kshatriya Dharma, for example, had a clear set of norms, which was implicit. Today, using that to define corporate citizenship, for example, may be inappropriate, unless we understand those implicit assumptions well. 

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Posted in Economics, Human Resources, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Nazarrr Surakshaa Ka-what?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have finally found the time to post an entry. And what better tone to restart blogging than my favourite sneering, sardonic one? And as usual, the entity at the receiving end of this tone thoroughly deserves scorn. That's what I think. And this is my blog, remember? So there.

Pardon my manners, dear reader, it is just that I am not used to blog etiquette nowadays. I seem to have lost the skill, the eye to spot blogworthy topics. And of course, if I really think about it, it must be because of…errr…yes, Amit Varma and Arnab Ray. They must be jealous of my blog and my ever-increasing blog readers, especially since I stopped blogging for almost a year. And since they could not have assailed me, as they are far away from me, they must have used the only power that cuts through space, time and electronic transmission. They must have used…the Evil Eye. (scary music piece).

But I need not fear. The good, spiritual folks at GTM teleshopping shall bring back my blog rank, my followers, Google Ad sense money and pretty girls. OK, not the last one. I look at them with avuncular affection, now that I am married. And hair loss makes me look 'uncle' anyway. But to come back, the good folks shall help me by giving me protection against the Evil Eye. And all for a measly 'Sanyog Raashi' (Total Cost- or the coming together cost) of Rs.2375/- (along with a measly Rs.125/- as postage and handling charges).  Isn't life great? How? you may ask. The answer is simple. The Nazar Suraksha Kavach (NSK) pack. No, you Western-educated, liberal, anti-traditional bigot, NSK is not something that will protect your eyes.

Their website says,

 

Nazar Suraksha Kawach means the "evil eye bead", is actually a stone bead, which is worn to protect oneself from evil looks (sic). The stone is an amalgamation of molten glass, iron, copper, water and salt. This particular combination of minerals and metals is believed to provide a shield from the forces of evil. The Nazar Suraksha Kawach has the symbol of an eye worked upon it. The symbol of the eye is regarded as a potent amulet for protection against evil forces in almost every culture of the world like Jewish, Islamic, Hindu, Buddhist and Christian. Thus, in Turkey, you have an eye for an eye.


And stops. Don't you love their karmic disdain for continuity already? and what about disdain for facts? Babylon…Turkey…what's the difference? Hammurabi sounds like a Turkish name, after all.

OK, spot quiz. What's more dangerous than a shark? Give up? The answer is: a shark with lasers. And what's more dangerous than a shark with lasers? The actors in Nazar Suraksha Kavach TV ads. A lady with hypnotic eyes and eye make up that kills your sweetest dreams sells this on TV. Claim upon baseless claim is made with a reassuring smile. Trouble supposedly caused by other people's evil eye furrows the obscenely made up pretty brow of our lady. And since the ad director is certain that we will not be able to handle the lady's wrinkled brow, out come the laser actors. People who seem to have never worn a suit in their whole life smile besuited, toothy smiles, banging away at the keys of an instrument called a "laptop", which they seem to have never touched before, in order to denote post NSK-ian success. An ageing junior actor shows just why he is a junior actor by hamming joy when his (on-screen) daughter gets a proposal and hamming sorrow when the proposal is withdrawn. In between, an aunt straight out of K-serials comes and shoots out envious laser beams at the junior actor's daughter at the rate of one envious laser beam per eye, per narrated incident proving how lucky the daughter is to have landed such a groom. 

All those laser beams don't go waste; the guy, doubtlessly made aware of Laser Eye Aunty, retracts in a hurry, prompting the aforementioned ham scene. The girl, a master of cool, hard logic, deduces that the proposal did not go through because of the Laser Eye fusillade and no other reason on Earth (including the hammy Dad, or her lack of beauty or personality) could have contributed to the withdrawal. She gets the NSK (Sanyog Raashi 2375/-, postage 125/-…call now!!) and the next shot is of her about to get married the next day! Hallelujah! The fact that the ad director did not bother to show any signs of impending marriage on the girl does not bother anyone. 

Many such success stories are paraded before your eyes. There is a reference to 'harmful negative energy' and how NSK is able to reduce it or convert it into positive energy. Obviously, since it was trusted by ancient civilizations, whose only exposure to energy was lightning, fire, horse and bull, this assertion becomes bull-proof. 

But wait! There's more! GMT is committed to make their your life richer. You can get 'Kuber Kunji' (Kuber's- the god of wealth's- key), which is an elaborately designed key that can be kept in the worship room and a miniature version hung around the neck. (the Website suggests that the 'earning member' of the family should wear it around neck). This is in addition to the Kuber idol, Kuber photo frame, Charan Paduka (slippers of Kuber), Kuber Yantra, Kuber Mantra booklet and CD, that you get along with the Kuber kunji pack. The website actually gives you benefits of using Kuber Kunji. They are given below. i swear I am not creative enough to think up any of this:

 

Benefits

There are three main benefits of Kuber Sadhana…


1. When Lord Kuber is pleased then bless the person with material success and wealth.
2. The chances of coming into wealth unexpectedly and suddenly through lotteries etc increase. 
3. No matter how much one spends money keeps flowing in provided the wealth is used for constructive purposes and not   for destructive or antisocial activities 

They also have an 11 step "How to Install" section, which makes it about as easy as compiling the Linux kernel.

Go on. Order Kuber Kunji, Hanuman Kavach, Mata Kavach, Nazar Suraksha Kavach. you can also get English Tutor, which has an over the hill Vinod Nagpal trying to pose like an English Professor. Or something. Vinod Nagpal, for those who don't remember medieval history, was one of the actors in 'Hum Log' (Which is not a record of tunes hummed- Hum. Log. in English. Get it?) and the Music Teacher in Chashme Baddoor, teaching Deepti Naval 'Kaali Ghodi Dwaar Khadi'. Well, times are tough and the black mare song will not take care of retirals, right?

There are so many misfortunes hidden in these ads promising to bestow luck. Actors who have never been able to make it big or are over the hill try to enact success stories to people who are so insecure and/or defeated, that they actually believe and buy what they say. And sell. And for every snigger, every incredulous shake of head, every latent desire to complain to the Advertising council, there is a person who sincerely believes that his or her misfortune is because of somebody's evil eye and this glass globule will protect him or her. This adds fuel to the fire by making people suspicious of each other, making it difficult to give or receive innocent compliments. Distrust of people around you, fear of some vague 'energy' acts in mysterious ways to harm you…all reminds me of a word that starts with P and ends with 'aranoia'.

Can NSK save them from this?

 

 

 

 


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Posted in Frauds and Hoaxes, Humour, Rant, The jaw gently drops, Uncategorized, religion | 1 Comment

Aand…I’m back!

Yes, it has been more than a year. But I have legitimate reasons. This year has been the most significant year in my life.

I got married. To the Best Girl in the WorldTM. Or, The WifeTM. In the midst of a whirlwind romance, a quick engagement and a wedding, I suddenly found myself quite busy. Too busy to blog. Of course, my job ensured that my free time was regulated as well.

Continue reading

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Posted in Blog announcements, Personal, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

 

This is just an aside.I am threatening to start my blog all over again. Be scared. Be very scared. Continue ignoring this blog, if you know what’s good for you.

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Posted on by Nandan | 1 Comment

Happy New Year

 

A very happy new year to all. New Year’s Eve is an arbitrary point of time. What makes it special or significant is the meaning we attach to it. Here’s hoping that all of us are able to provide a rich meaning to our lives in the coming year.

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Raj Thackeray and the media spin

I generally don’t like to cover current events and blog about them. I like blogging about the same event twice even less. But since there are so many interesting examples of spin available and I have some free time with me, I cannot but blog about it.

In my earlier post, I had talked about media playing a partisan role, especially channels like NDTV. here are some samples of how Raj Thackeray’s press conference was reported.

Rediff.com: talks of Raj Thackeray saying "My good time will come". As one reads, one realizes that Raj T has clarified his position, saying he is not against religious festival(s), but against using these as political platforms and as events to do a "show of strength". However, rediff.com has by far the most balaced reportage amongst the sampled news sites.

NDTV.com: "Pressure on Maharashtra Government, Raj remains defiant" screams the headline on this site. Under the headline, there is an interesting sentence about Raj Thackeray defying the court order and conducting a press conference. The exact sentence is:

"Maharashtra Navnirman Sena chief Raj Thackeray has addressed the media in defiance of a court order banning him from making any public speeches."

When you click on the link, way down in the 10th and 11th paragraph, the site says:

"The court order against Raj’s speaking in public was issued last week, shortly after he was arrested for the violence unleashed by his party workers on north Indian candidates who had come to Mumbai for the Railway Recruitment Board exams.The police had given him permission to hold the press conference but was there to monitor what he said."

Notice the subtle fact that Raj T was not really doing illegal? (well, at least that’s what NDTV.com admits to saying) Of course, the screaming byline insinuates that he is doing something quite illegal and in contravention of court orders.

So, where is the defiant part? The defiant part is in the first paragraph, where he defends the Mumbai Police and State Government for the action taken against Raul Raj, saying that RR was shot not because he was Bihari, but because he was dangerous. The only people he is contradicting are some of the Bihari politicians.

Aajtak.com: the Hindi online version does not seem to feel the need to cover the clarification made by Raj T. I did not find it even after some diligent search. The focus of the coverage seems to be on people like Kalraj Mishra and Amar singh criticizing Raj T.

IBNLive.com: The headline only says: "Learn Marathi, Raj tells migrants in mumbai"…again, no coverage to his comment about not being against Chhat Puja or supporting the shooting of RR in the headline. The same news report, once you click on the headline, tells you about his views on unauthorized slums etc. There is enough coverage to his remarks on Chhat Puja in the article, but just a passing reference to learning Marathi. And guess what gets highlighted?

Sify.com:  Talks of how the upright servant of the downtrodden masses, world famous psychiatrist, (Dr.)Amar Singh, compares Raj T to Hitler and comments how Raj T is mentally ill, just like Hitler in the past.  The same headline is seen again on in.yahoo.com.

Interestingly, mid-day.com has probably quoted Raj T correctly about his views on RR’s death, apart from rediff.com:

”I do not like violence and am not happy at anybody’s death. Maybe only Bihar leaders can be, and play politics over somebody’s death,” he said supporting the police firing at Rahul Raj (23), the Patna boy who tried to ‘hijack’ a BEST bus a few days ago saying he wanted to kill Raj Thackeray. Rahul died in the encounter. ‘Rahul had a loaded revolver and he fired first at the police and the passengers,” Raj noted.

rediff.com also says:

"Thackeray justified the killing of Bihari gunman Rahul Raj stating that had he killed innocent bystanders or some policeman had died in the fracas the media would have blamed the police for not taking quick action."

mid-day.com has a much more factual headline. "Raj: no politics over Chhat Puja". Is it any wonder that Raj T and people who follow news with some interest get disgusted with the biased slant of news channels?

 

 

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Posted in India, Maharashtra, Marathi, Mumbai, News and Current Events, Politics, Rant, Uncategorized, citizen | 6 Comments

Some thoughts on the MNS and Rahul Raj

  • There is no justification for violence. There was no need to beat up students and equally, no need to destroy property.

  • If MNS knew about these examinations earlier (the Shiv Sena claims they did) they should have protested in other ways. Large scale protests at examination centers or on railway stations, or even using media cleverly to give publicity to the issue in Maharashtra.

  • There seem to be more than enough instances of Lalu Raj being enforced in Railways. (Quick example here: Oriya MP Karbala Swain complaining against alleged discrimination)

  • Earlier protests by MNS, such as signs being painted in Marathi, are actually in accordance with the provisions of the local laws. While it is incorrect to beat up people and destroy property, the demands of MNS are valid to the extent that they are in accordance to the laws.

  • The theme of MNS is going to be the same overall: most Maharasthrians I know, myslef included, agree in varying degrees with their demands. however, most Maharashtrians I know do not agree with their ways. This shall probably cost Raj Thackeray some votes, but then again, people like me are not his target population.

  • The other issue is the schizophrenic nature of Mumbai.Being the Financial Capital of the country makes it a melting pot. Being the capital of Maharashtra makes it uniquely Maharashtrian. Problems arise when this delicate balance is broken. For many years, this balance was not broken. While Shiv Sena rallied against Tamilians and Muslims at specific times, it did not really destroy the balance. MNS has tended to copy the same methodology. However, without a powerful development agenda, MNS will end up making the same mistake as the SS. Opening a Pandora’s box and adding one more (dysfunctional) personality to Mumbai’s burgeoning personalities. With no solution in sight.

  • The Rahul Raj case was painful. It is painful to see a young man in the avatar of a hijacker/ terrorist. As per reports, he shot one person (a Mr.Bhagat) and tried to strangle the conductor. A hostage situation like that is scary.

  • Hindi news channels have shown an unbelievable bias in reporting the Rahul Raj issue. For a change, Star News tried to look at both sides of the story. Some others tried to show how Rahul Raj was a ‘normal’ boy. After showing his ‘normal’ background, one news anchor of NDTV Hindi said in a sarcastic tone.."So, this is the boy whom the Deputy CM of Maharashtra calls mentally unstable". So, trying to strangle a bus conductor with an iron chain, shooting a passenger for no reason and trying to assassinate a politician is normal behaviour?

  • The most disgusting visuals of the whole episode was Lalu trying to make political capital out of this issue. While there shall be a high level enquiry in this incident, it seems clear that the hijacker tried to kill people (the conductor and Mr. Bhagat) and had every intention of trying to kill Raj Thackeray. To say that this person is a Bihari youth who has been shot down mercilessly by the police is the lowest form of political mileage. I believe in the action taken by the Mumbai Police, though of course, the final report is awaited. In these times of terror, if the person does not give up his arms and surrender, and there is a wounded person as a hostage, there is little that any defence force can do.

  • I don’t know how many people may actually want to kill Lalu, but if Lalu is faced with a situation like this, will he not pick up the phone and tell the Police to shoot the guy down?

  • The decorative turd on top of this shit cake was Lalu trying to lay the blame of Rahul Raj’s death on Raj Thackeray. As far as I could make out, in Lalu’s warped mind, Rahul Raj was ‘provoked’ by Raj Thackeray due to the violence initiated by Raj T (highly probable, though we as of now we have no conclusive proof of that). Obviously, the most natural reaction to this would be for some ‘aggrieved’ person to get a country made revolver, climb a bus and try to shoot Raj T, who was at least 10 kms away. How was this particular individual affected by Raj T? If violence is not justifiable one way, it can”t be justifiable the other way. The ownership of that action was with Rahul Raj alone. And if people like Raj T are parochial thugs, who have mental issues (as per the eminent psychiatrist Mr. L P Yadav) what are people like Rahul Raj?

  • ‘Oh, but if Raj T had not done this, the ‘youth’ would not have been motivated to do this.’  is another argument that many people throw up, as if trying to find the root cause. This argument makes me want to throw up. Ok. Let’s try to put some reverse spin on this spin: Let’s go back some 15 years. If Lalu had not turned the beautiful and rich state of Bihar into the hellhole it has turned into, maybe people like Rahul Raj would not have had to leave Patna and search for jobs in Mumbai in the first place. How is that for a first cause?

  • Mumbai and Maharashtra have always welcomed people with open arms. The issue is, today, there isn’t much space to widen those arms, due to the sheer extent of migration. Also, UP and Bihar-based politicians are trying to create vote banks out of the immigrants from North India, which will further divide the city. ( I have written about this earlier in another blog post, so not repeating it here). Contrary to popular opinion, it is not Maharashtrians alone who are against this (in fact, many Maharashtrians, myself included, are not against migration, though skilled migration is more deisrable in my opinion). Gujaratis, Tamils, Marwaris etc. are also against this deluge. Violence is a ridiculous way of handling these issues and there seem to be no easy answers to this. The least we can, as Indians, do is sort it out peacefully, without violence ( like Raj T) and without raising emotional and political stakes (like LP Yadav).

  • I also believe that as a migrant, one needs to understand the local language and try to enrich the place which you have adopted. In Ahmedabad, I learnt Gujarati quickly and I tried to learn Kannada in Bangalore, though unsuccessfully. I dont know how much I enriched the places, because I was too young when in Gujarat at least. Can we, as migrants, look at this model? By migrant, I mean a  person who has settled in a place which is not his/her home. Shivajirao Gaekwad, a Maharashtrian, is one such example. He has enriched the South Indian Film industry in particular by his sheer contribution. There are hundreds of MArwaris in Maharastra and W Bengal who speak Marathi and Bengali, respectively, better than the natives. The Parsee test of migration, in my opinion, is the best way to look at the problem of migration. How can I mix with the milk without making it overflow? Am I adding sugar to the milk, to make it sweeter, or am I at best an impurity?
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Posted in India, Maharashtra, Marathi, Mumbai, News and Current Events, Personal, Politics, Uncategorized, citizen | 10 Comments

I will be back

This has been the longest break ever from blogging. And for no particular reason either, just that..I have been busy. I have been twittering, if you care to read the twitter feed. But that is all. I shall soon be back, but I know not when.I know not how.

One day, I expect to re-enter the blogosphere in a blaze of riotous colours. Till then, this blog will be dormant. Thanks for your patience and all that.

 

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Posted in Blog announcements, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!

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Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!

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Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment